A lot of women have asked me recently what I thought of Christian Carter’s book, Catch Him and Keep Him. Should they buy it? What was it like? Is he cute?
Let me answer the most important question first: yes, Christian Carter is cute! He’s fair-haired and good-looking in that sunkissed California kind of way. For any of you who’ve seen his DVD series on “Natural and Lasting Attraction,” you’ll know what I mean.
He’s a genuinely great guy who also happens to be a great catch. He’s the kind of guy that you imagine would have been nice to the girls who liked him in school, even if he didn’t like them back. This guy has his life sorted, amazing women around him, and an enormous heart that’s truly concerned about why women out there aren’t getting the relationships they want.
On to the next question: what is the book like?
It’s an inside look into how men think, from the perspective of a good-looking guy who’s been there, done that.
I find the maleness of the book overwhelming. This isn’t written by a fatherly counselor or a gay best guy friend: Christian Carter is very much in touch with his masculinity, and he pulls no punches. He tells you what guys are like: the bare bald facts that most of us don’t want to hear.
In our hearts, I think many of us wish that men could be more like women. We wish that men could enjoy talking about their feelings more, could give up their addictions to toys and start getting hooked on family, even enjoy shopping with us more than a few times a year.
According to Christian, that sort of thinking has to stop. Men live in a different reality, and it is our job as women to understand where men are coming from without judgement.
In order to assist you with sorting the wheat from the chaff, Christian gives you a valuable taxonomy of the kinds of guys out there who’ll steal your heart. Learn how to recognize a Player and the motives that drive them to play with hearts. Find yourself challenged to consider why you’re attracted to strong, dominant unavailable men and bad boys … exactly the sort of men who will not make good relationship material.
One of Christian’s central themes is the importance of understanding your emotional responses and acting on them appropriately. He challenges women to look at how flimsy their intuitive sense of a “connection” with a man really is: e.g., while the woman is sure he’s “the One” and planning their wedding invitations after the first date, he’s just thinking what a great gal she is and how great the sex will be. Christian injects a note of reality:
“You’d be crazy to take the close relationship and love you want to find and gamble it away by betting on a guy whose greatest qualification is that he makes you feel attracted to him.” (p.33)
Christian challenges you to be realistic about your expectations and assess your “emotional fitness.” Do you take responsibility for your life, or do you play the victim? Are you a “cool girl” or a “hysterical woman”? His list of Cool Girl Do’s and Don’ts struck home. He’s right on the money about the kind of girl guys think is a great catch.
He spends a great deal of time detailing the difference between the kind of girl guys see as casual hookups and the kind of girl that men will view as long-term relationship material. Girls, if you let yourself get walked all over by guys and sleep with them in hopes that your sexual intimacy will lead to emotional intimacy, you need to read this.
Finally, the question is: should you buy Christian Carter’s book?
I would give it my thumbs-up for one reason in particular: the fantastic “Interviews with Dating & Relationships Experts” CDs included free as a bonus with the Catch Him and Keep Him e-book.
Why? Well, I’ve read a lot of dating books. I prefer the hard science of Helen Fisher or the psychological insight of Harville Hendrix, both Ph.D.s in their respective fields. Yet for an e-book, Christian Carter’s publication stands out: Catch Him and Keep Him is professional, well-written, and great value for money (it’s 183 pages).
What Christian Carter’s package does offer that other hardcopy books don’t is an amazing set of audio CDs in which Christian interviews dating and relationship experts and asks them the most common questions women have. The audio experience adds a dimension to the information that you can’t get from a book. And you get a month’s subscription to the CD series FREE when you buy Catch Him and Keep Him.
So if you’re keen to learn more, visit the Catch Him and Keep Him website.
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